Wanting a Dr. Pepper and debating helicopter parenting

That was a random title.  Yes, I know. 

So, I get these wonderful grade triggers for Munchkin's grades.  I have a trigger set to let me know when there is something that goes in so there won't be surprises at the end of the six weeks.  99% of the time, Munchkin's grades are stellar.  Conduct grades seem to be the place where she struggles. 

I've said a number of times I'm looking forward to not getting the "tattle-tale" sheet home every day with a smiley face (or something else).  Yes, I know we can help reinforce good classroom behavior by being consistent with behavior at home.  And we do.  But, when push comes to shove, I'm NOT in that classroom from 7:30am-3pm and, therefore, am NOT in control of behavior - that's the teacher's world and her responsibility.  Am I wrong here?

Frankly, I'm a little weary of getting the little notes home letting me know she "was a little too talkative" or "had a hard time sitting still" or, my favorite, "had a hard time getting along with classmates."  That's not to say we won't hold her accountable for her behavior BUT what can I really do?   The best discipline is immediate reinforcement.  Up to eight hours after the whatever it was that irked the teacher that day is a little after-the-fact and totally counterproductive. 

We've done retesting on her for our exceptionally gifted program.  She was 10 points from qualifying.  What that says to me is that, while I'm glad she's getting that enrichment one day a week, what happens the other four days when she's NOT getting that higher level of learning?  Giving her extra work isn't the way to go either. 

I don't know the right answer.  I feel like it's my responsibility, as her mother, to make sure she's getting what she needs.  I won't make excuses for her behavior but she is BORED.  I've read enough about super-bright kids to know the danger we face if she remains habitually unchallenged at school.  She will begin to check out. 

I've asked/offered to send workbooks, story books, etc. to school with her but have been told they would be a distraction and my requests were always politely declined.  I don't know what else to do at this point. 

We will meet with her teacher, principal and the elementary advanced academic facilitator who tested her.  Hopefully, between the group of us, we can figure out how to help Munchkin enjoy school and NOT be a fartknocker. 

*sigh*  This parenting gig is tricky, you know?