For the birds

I have officially given up on letting Princess Crybaby cry it out. It feels wrong and cruel and , frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn what the "experts" say. We're done subjecting ourselves and her to nightly torture rounds.

I sat on the floor, in front of her crib, and let her look at me until she fell asleep. she was hiccuping from crying son hard, but she was peaceful. When I picked her up to soothe her, her little body was clammy from the exertion. This is not the right way. At least, not for us.

I never let Munchkin cry it out and she is a great sleeper. There are some lessons about sleep we might have to wait to teach until she has more language. For now, we will work to find a more peaceful solution.

I downloaded The No Cry Sleep Solution by elizabeth pantley to my kindle app. I'm looking forward to reading it.

Here's hopin'!

Epiphany

Ok, epiphany time...  I find it easier to lose weight when I'm NOT working out but controlling my food intake.  When I work out, I hardly lose anything.  I think it's because I am still figuring out how to balance the increased calorie needs with the increased calorie burn that comes with working out.  My body goes into starvation mode pretty easily.  Is that because I was always too thin in my teens through the birth of my first child?

When I think back over time, food and my weight has been a touchy subject all my life.  When I get busy, pre-occupied or anxious, I quit eating.  Literally, I forget to be hungry.  Now, that sounds crazy but it really is true.  My mother was forever checking my collar-bones and grilling me about what I'd eaten.  I was always very thin - sometimes to the point of concern.  I never tried to be thin.

Then, somewhere in college, food became something else.  It was almost a weapon I would use against myself if I was unhappy.  (this conclusion was made upon looking back; when I was doing it, I was not aware of what I was doing.)  This, combined with the party lifestyle I adopted, brought my weight to near dangerous levels.  When I moved home to start UMHB, I was a size 4.  I'm nearly six foot tall.  In nobody's book is that considered healthy.

Then, as tends to happen, my metabolism slowed down in my mid-20s and I began to gain weight.  Since the birth of my first child, I've hovered around the same weight.  While I was working at the CAC, the workload, single parenthood and life, in general, triggered that no-eating cycle.  I suffered terrible stomach pain - I thought I might have an ulcer.  Everything I ate (besides ramen or salad) would hurt so I began to eat less and less.  I got down to a 10; the smallest I'd been since college.

I didn't stay that small, of course.  I started eating again eventually and didn't work out.  Then, comes the second baby and that brings us to now.

My conclusions:

• I do not know how to lose weight in a healthy way.


• I have a love/hate relationship with food.


• I am not a stress eater.  (thankfully)


• I am a stress-starver.


• I have a lot of stress in my life (even good stress is still stress; as my mother says).

What I'd like to do is lose the weight in a way I know how to lose it (control food intake) and then incorporate fitness to keep it off.  But I know all my fitness friends are already shaking their heads and saying, "you must balance fitness and nutrition at the same time in order to achieve long-term goals."  How I break this cycle and get to the weight I want without starving myself is the question of the year. I haven't had that epiphany yet. LOL

that sad little song

What is it about music that gives it such power over our emotions? There is nothing more haunting than a melancholy tune; more stirring than a sweeping orchestral swell or more invigorating than a lively melody. 

Or, is that just me? (probably)

June - my least favorite month

http://fridaynightgirl.wordpress.com/category/munchkin/#!/entry/707

It bears repeating.

I hate this time of year.

Walking in Circles

Do you ever get the feeling you are walking in the same circle, over and over again?  Pick up magnets off the floor.  Straighten crib.  pick up blocks and rattles and more blocks and put them back in the basket.  make a bottle.  Sweep the floor.....and on and on.

 

That time of year again

June is here. 

Graduation is in the books, along with another school year. 

June 1 was my 4th birthday as a WILDCAT. 

It's time to switch from school year omgosh-hair-on-fire-frantic to summer not-as-frantic-frantic. 

Munchkin leaves for the East in 13 days.

Reorganizing and redecorating Munchkin's room begins in 14 days.  (I'm really looking forward to this)