Thursday, December 29, 2005

What the heck is a pincurl?

Ugh. I had this entire blog updated and my silly computer froze. GAK!

Anyway, sorry for the lag in updating; holidays were upon us and computer time was scarce. But, I'm back now!! (no applause; just throw money)

So, I've discovered a new hobby. Or rather, I fell into it while looking for some hairstyle ideas. See, I've been growing my hair out and now it's about half-way down my shoulder blade. I don't want to cut it but can't stand a sloppy look. I wear mostly suits to work and long hair is still, mostly, seen as a sign of youth and inexperience, so I keep it up most of the time. Being bored with the messy bun look and disgusted with modern updo's (nothing more than a french twist with hair sticking up or curled at top - gag), I Googled "40's hairstyles" and came up with this site, Fedora Lounge. As it turns out, there are people who are into this entire revival of the "Golden Era" of the 30's and 40's. They walk, talk, dress and live the era. Some are much more casual about it but everybody seems to love it and really know what they are talking about.

I've spent more time the last two days than I really should, digging on the forums. Fear not, this isn't bound to be another House Pride situation where I am on morning, noon and night. I don't have time and it isn't that kind of forum. Well, I'm sure it could be but, again, I just don't have the time.

Today, I went to the library and checked out as many books as I could carry home to read up on the decade. I think it would be an easy transition to vintage or vintage inspired living. I've said many times over the course of my young life that I am a child born 60 years too late. That I belong to another era. That my passion for antique books, "old-fashioned" clothes and "outdated" ideals just don't fit in now. Apparently, I am not alone. How cool is that???

So, I'm playing along - seeing where it will take me. Who knows, maybe I'll figure out how to pin curl my hair and learn to swing dance? *grin*

*yawn*
Night, kids.

Sunday, December 4, 2005

Redeeming Qualities

You know, I thought I might take some time to redeem myself after that total fluff post from the other day. *grin* See, H, I am not a total slacker.

Church has been just awesome. Today, the pastor read the story of Elijah and I just wanted to stand up and clap my hands. I mean, I am a member of a pretty conservative Southern Baptist Church and people might look at me funny if I stood up and got really excited during a sermon... *giggle* But, the story is just such a gosh darn good one, it's hard NOT to!

I met with my soon-to-be boss on Friday. Golly, I think we are going to get along like peas and carrots. We seem to have the same organizational style and our brainstorming seemed to go along the same lines. I was so excited to just be in the building on Friday that I squeeled like a little girl after the meeting was over (once I got into the car, of course). It was all I could do not to clap my hands during the meeting. That might have given the impression that I was a little too excited and might have worried the Director. *grin*

I just can't believe that I'm about to get paid to do all of this fun stuff. It just doesn't seem possible that I'm about to have a job that seems to have been just tailor-made for me! Of course there will be days when I'll want to run off to the circus or choke my boss. Hey, that's a part of working. But, to be able to anticipate work that suits my talents and gifts instead of, day after day, trying to put on and wear shoes that just don't fit.

I went to a banquet last night and the speaker was a long-time acquaintence of mine. I met her when I was in college and we ran into one another shortly after I moved home last year. She said something very neat during her talk last night - she said that each year, she asks God to show her something new about the Christmas story. She also said that she thinks that a big part of being included in what God is doing is just being willing to act but, more importantly, paying attention and being curious.

With that thought in mind, I listened to the church choir present their annual Christmas musical. Tonight, for the first time, I heard something I'd never heard before. In Luke, it talks about when the shepherds came to the stable, at the command of the angels. It says that they left the stables and proclaimed what they had seen to all around, and all who heard it were amazed. Now, I've heard that 1000 times. What I hadn't heard before was the next verse. In Luke 2, verse 19, it says, "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." I wonder what that means. Most likely Mary was illiterate. It's not like she could have written them down. Maybe it means that she committed them to memory so that she could draw them out of her memory and reflect upon them later.

Anyway, I just think that's a really neat scripture and I plan to think more on it.

We rearranged the living room again tonight. I just love moving furniture. It gives the room a whole new look and you don't spend a dime. I think, in the spring, I'm going to repaint a couple of rooms in the house. I'd like to do away with the green in my room and tone down the yellow in the living room. Maybe repaint the office all together - maybe a shade of red. *shrug* Who knows? Spring is a long time from now and I'm likely to change my mind about 305 times until then.

Well, kids - I think this train is out of steam. I'm going to put on a movie and call it a night. Y'all have a great week!

Saturday, December 3, 2005

Fluff

Have I mentioned that I love taking pictures? People, places, things - it doesn't matter to me. I just love photography. It's kind of a hit or miss thing with me, though. I'll certainly never be winning any awards with the MAJORITY of my photographs (mainly because I'm too lazy to try and read the owners manual for my camera), sometimes I get lucky and something really neat comes out.

So, because I haven't updated my blog in a while and I can't really think of anything heart-stoppingly interesting about which to write, I'm going to post a few of my favorite photos.

This is one of my cats. He likes to curl up in baskets and sleep the day away.



I took this photo of my daughter, at her school's Fall Fair. She had never been in a bounce house before, and she looked very young and small in there. She eventually figured it out and had a great time, but when this photo was taken she was VERY unsure about this wobbly floor.


Taken at Sea World, in San Antonio Texas. I just loved the way the legs of this rollercoaster seemed to go up all the way to the sky.

This photo was taken in San Antonio, Texas. I altered the photo with a sepia finish and then a film grain overlay. I was trying to prove a point to a friend about how easily photos can be manipulated to suit the desires of the photographer.

This is one of my yard kitties, Fred. This photo just captures his shyness.

Well, there are about a hundred others I could post, but they are closeups of my daughter. Maybe I'll post more later.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Family - Ain't it Grand?

Thanksgiving was great. I ate more than I should and STILL have lots of ham and dressing left over. We didn't mess with a turkey this year. It was actually kind of nice to have ham for a change.

I finally pinned my mother down and made her measure out the ingredients for her dressing, so I could write down a recipe. She's one of those maddening "a little of this, a little of that and then just taste it to know if it's right" kind of cooks. Oh, it just makes me want to bang my head against the refrigerator. *giggle* It took a lot longer to make it this year, but at least I can say that I have the recipe now. Maybe at Christmas I can get her chocolate pie recipe and then I'll be set.

My brother and his adorable wife came down yesterday and will be here through Sunday. The toddler gets so excited when she sees him that she makes herself sick. She's been very touchy and whiney this morning, so I made her get back into bed. She was making me crazy and herself miserable.

It started raining at some point really early this morning. It's not raining now, but it's still got that wet, overcast look outside. I think I'll take a page from my own advice and go lay down on the couch and play playstation until I fall asleep. Doesn't that sound lovely? *yawn*

ps. I want to go see Goblet of Fire again. Maybe I'll beg my parents to watch the Toddler so I can sneak off and go see it.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Happy Dances and Runny Noses




I got a job!!!! (see the happy dance??) I'll start January 3. I am SO excited!!

Oh, and I have a runny nose. But, my news today was so awesome that even a head full of snot can't bring me down. *giggle*

Ok, the Nyquil is making me sleepy and it's taking forever to type and then re-type as I spell the words wrong and insert random punctuation. Night, friends.

Thanks to everybody that's had crossed fingers and toes for me!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

And the Catch is....

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
A little too ironic...and yeah I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

Yesterday, I had a job interview for a job to dream about. Director of Communications for the Cultural Activities Center, in the next town over. The money is adequate, the benefits are good, they are off more than the banks and they are located less than three miles away from my daughter's school. But the biggest benefit is that I would be hands-on involved with the creation and execution of programs at the oldest continuously run arts council in the country.

I love the arts. Music, theatre, dance and art have always been important to me. To have to opportunity to work in a place where that was our business would almost be as good as being on stage full-time again. And, who knows - with a job like that, who's to say that I couldn't do just that?? I certainly would have time to continue singing in the choirs at TC.

There is but one catch; the job doesn't start until January. Ugh. Six more weeks. Can I wait six more weeks for the job of a lifetime?

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Fun While It Lasted

You know that moment, at the very end of the Truman Show, right after they cut the transmission on the show? Everybody looks at eachother and says, "wonder what's on next?" Well, I closed the book on House Pride on Friday. *sigh* It sure was fun while it lasted. Three months and 630 posts and then I pulled the plug.

Two bull-headed people that wear their hearts on their sleeves and were both convinced in the total rightness of their position faced off. I decided that my time was better spent searching for other endeavors than dealing with the mind-numbingly blind association with the idiotic-Pat Robertson-pseudo-Christians of this world; just because I am uncompromising about my beliefs and that the aspects of my faith are non-negotiable. Well, that and my presence was unwelcome.

The good news is that nobody got hurt. Well, I was more than a little heart-broken at having to say so little to those who I have begun to call friends. There was not really time for explanations; it would have made the immediate situation worse. The biggest disappointment, though, came from the altercation itself. For a person who claimed to be able and willing to discuss sensitive topics as a mature adult, without fear of reprisals or retribution; she proved to be quite unwilling or unable to do just that. Once she heard words that she didn't like; the exchange was over. Her reason shut down and her emotion took over. Which, is quite unfortunate, but a peril one must face in taking on any such conversation. I knew how the scene would end before we even began, but felt compelled to answer truthfully when asked about my beliefs.

Perhaps one day, she'll realize that I am not her enemy and have no desire to be. I love her because she is a divine part of God's creation. Her life choices do not change the truth of the nature of her Creation; nor do they change the reality of the message I tried to convey. She is a person with a heart and a spirit that yearns for the truth of God's love and forgiving grace. I will pray daily for her and that God would, perhaps one day, give me an opportunity to be a true friend to her. One who would encourage her to examine her heart and know the truth. That she would come to know the wonderful promise that is found in grace.

I told Mother though, that it irked me that God would choose to use me to speak the truth in love a WEEK before the Harry Potter: Goblet of Fire Premiere. *pout* Oh well... Night, kids.

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

Stomach Ache

I haven't decided whether or not to go back to bed. My side hurts. I have this little voice in my head (no, not THAT kind of voice) that is rather paranoid and tends to have a tendency to sound like a hypochondriac. Well, this little voice is saying, "it's your appendix." Not that I would know where my appendix is in the first place, but it's where they always point to on the TV shows.

Most likely I slept funny last night and have a "crick" in my back (whatever crick means anyway). So, I'm debating laying down on the couch, putting in one of the LOTR movies and starting a nap. Maybe it'll be such a great nap that I won't wake up until my "crick" goes away. *grin*

I have a job interview tomorrow! I'm excited. It's a construction superintendent position. I would have a list and a schedule and it would be my job to keep everybody on track; building residential homes. How AWESOME would that be? I love the process of homebuilding. I don't want to do new home sales because it is too far removed from the quality part of the work. Like insurance sales, I had to make my living based on what somebody ELSE was doing. If something was messed up, it was probably out of my control but because I was the salesman, I still took the hit. YUCK. Never again, says I.

When my brother and I were children, we would design and then plan the construction of houses. Imaginary, of course, but what fun we had. We would occupy days and days and beg our mother to take us to the home improvement stores so we could get ideas and paint samples and roofing brochures and... Well, you get the picture. As I got older, I realized that architects have to know how to draw and must be very good at math. Not to mention that they design a lot of things other than houses and that just wasn't interesting to me. So, I put those childhood memories and dreams in a drawer.

I know it would be a lot of hard work. I mean, dealing with construction workers (especially since I'm a woman) would be a big job. I probably would have to break down and learn at least a little Spanish (something I've avoided because I was an opera singer and it just didn't seem relevant). Oh, and I might even have to trade in my high heels for ...gulp... boots? *giggle*

I don't know. I think it would be a challenge and talk about tangible results for your work. Gosh, you get to do the final walkthrough of a house that, partly because of your organization, is completed on time and to the quality and specification required? How AWESOME would that be??

I'm a little nervous, too, though because I know NOTHING about construction. Absolutely nothing. My dad came over last night to oil the lock on my front door. He asked me for some pliers. I handed him a pair of my needle-nosed pliers that I use to make jewelry. Hey, they are pliers too, right??? Aren't they all the same?? *grin* So, I would have a LOT to learn. But, isn't that one of my favorite things to do - learn?

So, we'll see.

In other news - I've been made a part of the staff over at House-Pride. *happy dance* I told Kiana that I like to think of myself as laid back and wise because of my age but, in all reality, I'm too much of a type-A to be laid back and my wisdom just (mostly) comes out as hot air. *grin* So, whatever. At least I'm around a lot.

I submitted my entries for the new Interhouse Competition. The challenge was to plan "THE" party of the year. I can't say or give details (obviously) about what I planned, but I had so much fun doing it! I don't even care if I win or not. I enjoyed the planning so much that I printed out my plans and put them in my big idea book; just in case I ever have an opportunity to pull of a (much cheaper) version of my party idea. Talk about fun.

Ah, I've just yawned for the 30th time in a row, so I'm going to finish this up for now and go curl up on the couch. Thus is the life of a bum. blah.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

How Do They Do That??

I was staring out my bedroom window and this squirrel was just FROZEN, with a pecan in his mouth, from the big tree. I had to wonder; how do they do that?? And why, on Earth, was he just frozen there like that?? Did he smell a cat?? Just too cool. Who taught him how to do that? Where was he going?

Anyway, just thought I'd post that because it struck me as funny. *grin*

Kitty Cat Games

I'm sitting at my computer, waiting for Baby Girl to wake up. She crawled into bed with me this morning, around 4:30. I think she's getting cold in her bed and so she comes in here. Most nights, when she does it, I'll get up and take her back into her bed and just put the blankets back on her (she wiggles them all onto the floor), but I was just too sleepy last night to do it, so here she stayed. She's so sweet. It's also the only time of day that she's quiet. *grin*

In my room, I have three large windows that look out onto my big backyard. This morning, my "yard" cats are out there. I have these two cats that don't really belong to me, but they've chosen my yard in which to live. It's a big yard and has lots of great hiding places.

At the beginning of the summer, when I first saw them in the yard, they were SO scrawny that I started leaving food out. They wouldn't let me anywhere near them at first but I just waited, and watched. As they became accustomed to me, they would allow me to sit outside and, as long as I was very still, they would come up onto the porch to eat. About a month ago, the male very tentatively walked up to me and sniffed my hand and let me touch him on the head. VICTORY!

So, I've named them - Fred and Ginger. They are a couple, you see. They will walk down the sidewalk with their tails entwined.

This morning, Fred and Ginger are playing chase. Ginger will hide on one side of Baby Girl's playhouse and Fred will sneak up from the other side, behind her, pounce on her and dart away. She then, in turn, will chase him down and "tag" him. And then it starts all over. They've been doing it for about 15 minutes now. Ah, youth... *grin*

Ah - Baby Girl awakes. I'm off to feed the child.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Battlefields and Painted Pumpkins

"Sometimes I just don't understand human behavior" - C3PO (Empire Strikes Back)

I so know how he feels. There are days when I just shake my head at the world and say, "why do people act that way??"

Everywhere we turn these days there are grim reminders that people just don't care about anybody else anymore unless they can profit from it. I don't know if the "good old days" really ever existed or they are just some romanticized version that we've created in our minds but these days are just sad.

I was accused today of being a surface Christian. Instead of respond to them, I just decided to let it go. Because, at the root of their accusation was defensiveness about a TOTALLY unrelated subject. The comment itself didn't hurt me at all; I know it to be false. What hurt me is that I am unable to go to that person and say, "hey, that hurt me." because they will use it to try and manipulate me and gain power over me. What it boils down to is that they don't care that it hurt me unless it can be used to their advantage. It's all about power and control.

I am the kind of person that absolutely hates conflict but sees things in life as very black and white. This is quite often a weakness and I wish I could see those many shades of gray but I just don't. This seems to lead to the inevitable and constant conflict with those who seem to live their lives in nothing but the gray areas.

I just wish that life could be simple. I don't wish for it all of the time; that's just fantasy. But, to be able to ask a question without having words, agendas, insinuations or hidden accusations FORCED by another onto a simple question to make it anything BUT simple.... *sigh* But, I guess that's not going to happen, is it?

Life is war and I just have to get it through my head that there are some things in this life that will always be a battle.

On another, much happier note; we went to our first Halloween party of the year. Baby Girl had a BLAST. She bobbed for apples, painted a pumpkin (she is such a talented artist!), played games and watched the all-time classic Halloween movie, It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Who doesn't love that movie?? (Can I just say that Lucy never fails to disturb me??) It was a lot of fun to be with other single parents and give the kids a chance to play and the grown-ups a chance to stand back and watch them have fun in a safe place. I knew she had a good time because she was asleep FIVE minutes after I turned the lights out in her room. What a blast.

I'm pretty tired tonight too; not even the coffee is keeping the yawns away. Think I'll sign off for the night, kids.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

SSSHHHH!! He'll Hear You!

So, the ex calls this morning and says that he likes my blog. No, I don't make a habit of publicizing my blog, but a while back I was teaching myself about feeds and all of that techno-garble and updated my yahoo profile to pick up feeds from here. Well, I forgot all about it until this morning. Nice reminder, huh?? *grin* Oh well.

I re-read the posts and am anticipating a few catty remarks. Nobody likes to hear/read things about them that aren't very flattering, albeit true.

On the subject of my ex, he's actually been pretty nice lately. With the exception of yesterday, which was every bit as much my fault because I have been rather stressed out lately about this whole lack of a job thing, we've gotten along pretty well.

He's stepped up and picked up a few things for Baby Girl's school that, all together, probably would have stretched me a little thin. I thought that was very kind of him, and I've told him that, too.. (see, I'm not a total man-hater)

Anyway, enough about that. Wouldn't want anybody to get any ideas that I might be playing nice. Can't have that. *laugh*

Ok, so I didn't have to stay for jury duty. They excused me on account that I have a three year old and don't always have somebody readily available to see to her. I was a little disappointed that I didn't stay, but reality is reality. I'll have more chances, I'm sure.

On another note, I've just started a new book. Well, two if you consider that I'm also reading another book at the same time. Kooky, huh? Well, I'm reading Son of a Witch by Gregory McGuire; it's the sequel to Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West. WONDERFUL stuff, folks. Really entertaining. Can't wait to really get into it.

The other book I'm reading is an inspirational book. It's called, Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands. It's about how EVERY Christian is called into ministry. Every few paragraphs, I have a "WOW" moment. That's where you put the book down and go, "WOW!!" because you've just read something so prolific that it turns your brain inside out. Consequently, I can only read a few pages at a time because there is so much to absorb.

Anyway, I'm going by the hospital to apply for yet another job. I'll get their attention ONE of these days. *sigh* But I'm not going to let myself get into a case of the "pout, pouts", as Big H calls it. *giggle* That's what he puts on his voicemail because that's what his church kids call him. Isn't that cute?? What a great friend. I was in such a horrible mood last night, when he came by, but he really helped cheer me up. That's what a friend is. I'm so lucky to have him around.

Well, the coffee pot is calling my name in the kitchen. I am helpless to resist it. Later y'all.

Monday, September 12, 2005

My Version of Heaven

Mother and I were sitting out on the patio tonight, drinking coffee, and a funny conversation started. A beetle jumped into my lap and I FREAKED out and swatted it off. I made the comment that I hoped that there weren't bugs in heaven. Mother said that there probably would be bugs in heaven but that we wouldn't mind them. I made the crack that I'd be ok with just about anything once I get to Heaven but I will be sorely disappointed if bugs and poop make it in too. I told her that I just might want my money back.

She said that she figured there would be food in heaven, but maybe there wouldn't be any waste. I said, "oh great, we're all going to eat tofu and beansprouts?" I told her that I was pretty sure they'd be eating pizza in hell, so maybe that's where I'd rather be, if we're just talking about the food. The good thing is, she and God knows I'm kidding.

The conversation got me thinking, though. What do I think heaven will be like?

When I was a little girl, I remember asking my mother if my teddybear, Cuddles, would be there. Her response was something along the lines of, "you will have EVERYTHING that you need in Heaven." To a six year old girl, Cuddles the bear is a definite need.

I think Heaven is going to be much like my ideal version of "smalltown USA" around the turn of the century. Everybody knows each other and has time to stop and visit. There are no HOV lanes, no traffic jams and everybody either walks or rides a bicycle everywhere. I imagine that, like the movie, What Dreams May Come, you can choose to look different in Heaven, if you'd like. I might like very much to be a little girl again.

I imagine blocks of little farmhouses with little shutters and window boxes and streets lined with trees. I imagine town squares with little shops that have lots of window dressings. I imagine a general store with hard wood floors and long, glass display cases.

I would like to live next door to my grandparents, both of whom are already in heaven. My house would look very much like the house in which I currently live, except that the floors would all be real hardwoods and would stay clean. Heaven isn't going to be hot (obviously) so I want white curtains with battenburg lace that will move with the breeze that comes in open windows. I'll have screen doors that never have to be locked.

In my yard, I'll have all of the gerbera daisies that I tried and tried to grow here, but failed. I will have bushes of big purple hydrangea and a vegetable garden that never has to be weeded out in the back. In the afternoons, I'll sit out on my front porch, in a tall wooden rocker and enjoy a nice visit.

There will, of course, be church. Every night. That's how we'll finish our day.

The bible talks about the singing in heaven and how spectacular it will be. I imagine some of the singing to be a lot like the Concordia Choir's version of Rene Clausen's Magnificat. Just stunning.

Jesus will come to dinner and say the blessing and Jeremiah will help in the yard. David will come over and will, while we're sitting on the front porch, sing some of the Psalms.

And Cuddles the bear will definitely be there.

That's what I imagine heaven will be like.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Now THAT Was a Good Party



Today I hosted 14 of my closest friends and family at my house to help celebrate my daughter and little brother's birthdays. I have planned and planned this and it came off without a hitch today.

Well, we did make one minor plan change but it actually turned out better than I thought, so I'm glad I did it. I was originally going to make a pavilion in the yard but had to move plans under the carport because at 3:30 today, it started POURING down rain.

It looked so good. I hung strands of Christmas lights through the rafters and tied long strips of fabric to the beams to give a softer, more welcoming look. Everybody really liked it and it really turned out to be a very colorful and creative idea.

Now, I'd already put most stuff up and started taking things down by the time I took this picture, but it at least gives you an idea of what I did. When I get the other pictures off of the other camera, I'll post them here.

It was a VERY fun day. Had another person tell me I should be an event planner. I do love a good party and get a very big kick out of planning and pulling them off. Gives me something to think about. *scratches head* Well, it's midnight and it's been a very long day. Night, kids.

Friday, September 9, 2005

Fridays are the BEST

Baby Girl is sitting on her little stool, by my desk, with a Bath & Body Works shopping bag on her head. It's one of the paper kind and it looks rather like a very tall hat. She looks very funny and she's getting quite a kick out of the fact that I'm laughing at her.

We're having a party tomorrow night, to celebrate Baby Girl AND my little brothers birthday. Fortunately, there won't be many children here. I took cupcakes to her school so I wouldn't have to try and pull off a mammoth party at home. I figure I still have at least one more year to get away with it. But, her uncle and aunt, Nana & Papa and lots of family friends will be here.

I still have so much to do but I tried a new barbeque place today and it was WONDERFUL and now all I can do is think about napping. *laugh*

Well, I know this is short but I am typing with my eyes closed and I still have fighting with the sprinklers to look forward to. So ... much ... to ... do ... *yawn* Maybe I'll just lay down for a minute. zzzzzzzzzz...

Tuesday, September 6, 2005

Not Today

Ok, so last night I was suffering from a very real case of the mommy moodies. Today was a great day. I woke up before she did, got out the griddle and then went in to wake her up (which I never get to do because she gets up so dang early most mornings). She was so sweet when she opened her eyes and I was right there. She smiled that little smile up at me and I said "Happy Birthday, honey." Know what she said next?? "Can I have Birthday cake?" *giggle*

So we had mickey mouse pancakes and I let her blow out a candle that I'd stuck in the middle of the first pancake. She loved it.

I dropped off cupcakes at her school (I didn't stay just in case a "moment" came back around) and went birthday shopping. Childrens books are RIDICULOUSLY expensive. I hate shopping alone; have I ever mentioned that?? Well, that's another conversation.

She had a great day. The pants I got her for her birthday party are too big and I'll have to go back and exchange them. UGH. (see my comment above about shopping alone)

The Care Bear movie was on tonight and you'd have thought I planned it that way. I turned it on and she looked at me like I was Santa Claus.

As I was turning out the light tonight I asked her if she had a good birthday. She said, "oh yes. Thank you. I love you, mommy. Night night." How great is that??

Monday, September 5, 2005

Mommy Moments

The day before her third birthday was a busy day for Baby Girl. Not much this morning, but I've become accustomed to her being gone in the mornings. It was nice to have her home the day before her birthday, but STILL.. No coffee time this morning. *laugh*

She had her pictures taken this afternoon but before we could do that she HAD to have a haircut. She was starting to look like the reincarnation of one of the Beatles. She usually fusses a bit because the stylist has to spray her hair down and Baby Girl isn't big on water in her face. Today, she was GREAT. No fussing, no fighting. I even think she enjoyed herself.

So we get back to the house and she's sleepy but she knows she's having her picture taken at 3 so there is NO way she's going to sleep. After almost an hour, I made her get on the couch and at least lay down next to me and rest.

Needless to say, those girls at the photographers had to WORK for those smiles today. But, I think they got some really cute pictures. The last shot they took really got me. It was this little silhouette of just her face and I was struck to the core by how sweet she looked. Like an angel. That's when it hit me that she is going to be three tomorrow. Where did the time go? I can't believe it's already been three years. This time three years ago, I was scrambling around trying to decorate the house for the ex's birthday because he'd made a big fuss that evening because I hadn't planned anything. Regardless of the fact that I was technically due at any moment and had been through one pre-term labor scare and was supposed to be "resting" as much as possible, right? So, I stayed up half of the night getting the house ready for his birthday. *pats self on the head* At least I figured it out eventually.

So, I finally crawled into bed around 2:30am and my water broke at 5:30am. I knew this because my ex woke up (for some reason) and went into the living room to smoke. I woke up thinking, "all of that work and he's going to ruin my surprise." Then I felt it. I walked (very carefully) into the living room and said, "honey, I think my water broke." His response was, "are you sure?" *laugh* I don't know why, but for some reason I had that picture in my head of the husband jumping up out of his chair, rushing out the door for the car, in his underwear upon hearing those words. Needless to say, I think we were both too sleepy to do that. *giggle*

Upon realizing that we were going to have a baby for ex's birthday, I also realized that the house was a WRECK because I had decorated it from top to bottom (told you I was up most of the night) for his birthday. Somewhat crazy but very logically, I decided to go ahead and clean things up before we left for the hospital. Now, remember, my water broke at 5:30. We called the hospital and they were like, "COME ON IN." I cleaned up the house, took a shower, got dressed and finally, around 7:00am, we were on our way. We lived 40 minutes from the hospital (we'd moved two weeks before - thanks ex) but, miraculously, ran into no traffic. AMAZING, when you consider it was 7am on a Friday.

Things went amazingly smooth at the hospital. I had WONDERFUL nurses and very few problems. Baby girl was born at 2:38pm on Friday, September 6, 2002.

Regardless of the events after her birth and how quickly her father deteriorated into a raving madman, for that brief moment, we were a family in every sense of the word. It was the best day of my life. I will forever look back on that day and thank God that He brought her into my life.

I can't believe this precious little girl calls me "Mommy". I pray every day that I have the courage to be anything close to what she needs and that, through my being her Mother, she grows into a wonderful young woman.

I pray that God will gift her with the foresight that saves her the heartache I have had to experience by loving too much and taking my empathy for others' pain and turning it into trying to save them from the consequences of their bad decisions. That I would get my own hopes and ambitions out of the way when she is ready to take those first steps out of the nest because, if I've done my job, she has what she needs to make those decisions on her own. I love. I hope. I pray.

God, this precious little girl doesn't belong to me. You have entrusted this most precious little miracle to me and I humbly ask that you keep her in your sights. That you would strengthen my heart when I feel weak. That you would bolster my courage when I feel afraid and that you would keep giving me days like today when I catch glimpses of that tiny baby in that little girl's smile. Amen.

Friday, September 2, 2005

A Beginner's Guide to Opera

Ok, before I make my list, I will put this out there - mine is by no means an "expert" opinion. I sang opera and I'm a soprano which means that I'm pretty opinionated about the productions and singers that I like. The shows that I'll list and singers that I'll recommend are based upon MY opinion and the feedback I've received from other opera newbies that I've "guided" into opera.

I am of the opinion that almost anybody can come to love opera, as long as they are guided by somebody that 1. truly LOVES opera and 2. takes the time to ease them into it. Wagner's Ring Cycle is a tremendous work but even I, a seasoned opera fan, wouldn't try and sit through it. It's too much.

Ok, having said that, here we go. I'll put the name of the opera and then the composer. I'll even go so far as to recommend a specific singer, if I think that they really define the role. It would take up too much space to put a real synopsis in, but if you are interested in a specific opera there are a zillion great books and websites totally devoted to that kind of thing. My favorite book is: A Night at the Opera by Sir Denis Forman and my favorite website is http://www.metoperafamily.org/metopera/discover/stories/. It lists the stories of EVERY opera ever performed at the Metropolitan Opera.

1. La Boheme - G. Puccini. This is, for your viewing dollar, the BEST value with the best story and music. All around one of the very best operas out there. It has a little bit of everything; TWO love stories, a LOT of comedy and even a bit of tragedy. You will laugh and cry. The singing is some of Puccini's best. Dame Kiri de Kanawa is a WONDERFUL Mimi.

2. Le Nozze di Figaro (Marriage of Figaro) - A. Mozart. While this is not one of my personal favorites, it is an excellent example of Mozart's genius. The music is beautiful and there are lots of really entertaining twists in the story. Some of the most famous arias in the world are from this opera. It is another one that has both laughter and sadness in it. Figaro makes everybody laugh and the Countess will make you cry with her beautiful and sad "Porgi Amor". Bryn Terfel is a GREAT Figaro.

3. Il barbiere di Siviglia (Barber of Seville) - G. Rossini. Arguably, the greatest comedic opera of all time. Everybody knows it because we've all watched Bugs Bunny; we just didn't realize that's what we were watching. Everybody enjoys actually seeing somebody besides Tom & Jerry or Elmer Fudd singing "Figaro" ("Largo al factotum"). It's LOTS of fun. Coincidentally, it has many of the same characters as Le Nozze di Figaro; isn't that handy??

4. Turandot - G. Puccini. This is operatic spectacle at it's best. I can only recommend this one to beginners if you can go and SEE it. What makes this opera so magical is the sheer magnitude of the story. This was the first opera that I ever attended and it was the opera that opened the door to my desire to be on stage. A FABULOUS story. Luciano Pavarotti has made "Nessun Dorma" possibly the most famous tenor aria in history. Turandot was Puccini's last opera; he died before it was completed. On it's premiere night, Toscanini stopped the performance after Liu's suicide aria and supposedly said, "it was here that the Maestro laid down his pen," and he left the building and did not complete the performance of the opera. Needless to say, there was a RIOT. Can you imagine?

5. La Traviata - G. Verdi. This is another great opera because the heroine is doomed from the get-go. There have been countless copies of this story in modern film. Take for example - Moulin Rouge; Traviata story. Camille (Greta Garbo); Traviata story. Get the picture? Incredibly powerful music and a fantastic death scene at the end. Breaks your heart. BRAVO! This was the opera that Julia Roberts and Richard Gere went to see in "Pretty Woman".

6. Tosca - G. Puccini. This is a heavyweight in that there is VERY little comedy. It is tragic from the first curtain. For sheer drama, Tosca is a masterpiece. What makes it so great is that EVERYBODY dies. I mean EVERYBODY. When the curtain falls on Act III, there is not a single principal character alive. Not just their death makes it great but, rather, the way in which they die. AWESOME stuff. This is not family-friendly, though, folks. Even though it's in Italian, if you plan on going to see it, be very clear that this opera contains adult topics like political corruption, murder, torture, blackmail, extortion, execution and suicide. For your viewing pleasure, I would recommend this version - Placido Domingo's "E lucevan le stelle" is absolutely heart-breaking. He is my favorite tenor ALIVE. His Cavaradossi is magnificent. This is his best role. Pavarotti may be "THE" tenor of the century, but Domingo is the better actor. In this production (see picture), Hildegard Behrens does not have a young voice anymore. She does not look like a young woman; heck she's NOT young. But her Tosca is THRILLING. When she stands over Scarpia, the hair WILL stand up on your neck.

That should get you started. I'll add more as I come across them. I'll put in a few more comedies in the second installment.

Down From the Ledge

Ah, for all of my mother's quirkiness, she certainly has the wonderful ability to talk me down out of the tree. I was all ready to jump off of the cliff and tell my boss where he could put his "DRAW" when she called me today. She helped me remember that I'm not a 21-year old kid with no child and no steady financial responsiblities. I am almost 30 with a three year old and a house to take care of.

Needless to say, that extinguished most of my urge to throw a total tantrum and set that particular bridge on fire.

Ok, so I'm actively hunting a job. I mean, banging on doors is my total focus. I've already applied at a few places and have talked to my old boss about getting my old job back. Yes, it drove me crazy but it was a straight salary with benefits. It's all about sacrifices, man.

"Houston, We Have a Problem"

So I get paid yesterday and I noticed that there was no commission from the case I sold. *scratches head* Thinking to myself, "you know, that case just went live 8/1, they may not have straightened out all of the commssion details yet. You'll most likely see it in September's check." Still, erring on the side of caution (you know what happens when you assume things), I dropped a really quick email to our office manager and asked her about it. Here is her response:

"The commission from any accounts written will go against the draws that you have been receiving. Did you understand that to be different? "

UM, YEAH! What on EARTH have I been busting my chops for then? That was NOT what I signed on for. In my contract, it says that I am to be paid a SALARY and then it gives the commission schedule. UM, did any one of those words sound like a DRAW?

If it turns out that this is truly the case, I may quit my job today. No, I don't have another job lined up. I will truly be stepping out on faith that God will provide. Yes, I can do this. *deep breath*

I am so mad right now I could spit nails. Since that is the case, I'd probably better keep my mouth shut, huh? Wouldn't do to be flailing nails at people.

*ggrrr*

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Had a good weekend. Went to see The Brothers Grimm on Saturday night. It was entertaining, but I won't be putting that one on my "to buy" list. Heath Ledger was adorable in an awkward and bumbling way. Matt Damon's accent was atrocious and that smirk made me want to scream. The story was fun, though. I really liked how they wove in all of the fairy tales into the plotline without making a, "hey, that's the Princess and the Pea" or "hey, how about a little Rapunzel for ya?"

Still no word from J. I hope he gets out of Louisiana before the hurricane hits. Of course, that hurricane could also delay the ex's departure for New Jersey, which concerns me. But, God is sovereign and in charge of the weather.

Had a scare tonight. The improbable occurred to me and I suddenly found myself tossing around conversation starters that filled me with dread. Fortunately, it was a false alarm all around. I had a hot bath and am about to go to bed. *whew*

Baby girl is home and I could tell that she'd missed me. We moved all of the stuff that had been at her dad's house into her room. It is very full but very cute now.

Needless to say, I've changed her birthday presents list to mostly clothes, since she's pretty stocked on toys. *laugh* I had to rotate MOST of her toys up into the loft for a while since she now has all of her other toys here.

Well, I'm pretty tired tonight, so I think I'll wrap this up and head to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. Baby girl goes back to school, alumni meeting at noon, meeting with my boss at 2:30 and then class at 4:00. *sigh* I just hope I don't get fired tomorrow. What a blow that would be. Not a shock, but a seriously frustrating prospect.

Hopefully, the college will call about an interview for the recruiter position. *crosses fingers* I hope so.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Toilet Humor

We get up, have breakfast and get ready for church. Of course we're running late - are you kidding? Herding an almost three-year-old from JoJo's circus to getting dressed to the car to Sunday school is next to impossible. And NOW she decides to ask to go potty. *GAK* I can't imagine having more than one and being a single mom. My hat is TOTALLY off.

So, we are potty training in earnest now. She went three times today! You should see the bathroom. Charmin sent this really cute little potty training kit that you can send away for and it's FREE (always a good thing). Well, that stuff is all over the bathroom. Then, Pampers has a Kandoo Hand Soap. It's cute too. So, here's hopin'... I'm so tired of changing diapers. Of course, that will be the last vestige of her babyhood. *sniffle*

I can't wait to see how it works. IF it works, that is. She started preschool last week and they want them "mostly" potty trained before they start. Well, um... *cringe* Sure, she knows what the potty is and will use it but only when it's completely inconvenient for YOU. She's actually pretty funny when you ask her if she needs to potty. She'll put one little hand up, as if to say, STOP, and say, "no thanks - not right now." *giggle* What a character.

Nah, I'm thrilled that she's getting down pretty much on her own. I haven't pushed her and she's decided at this point that she's ready. YIPPEE!! (ok, so the experts got this one right! Stranger things have happened, right?)

As my mother would say, I've had just about all of the fun I can stand. Night, kids.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Good Clean Fun

Baby girl starts going to school five days a week next week. There wasn't a big difference in tuition and she's bored out of her mind here, with me, all day. So, school it is. *sniff* She's getting so big.

I have started planning my garden for Fall. I hope to get the big bed weeded, tilled and mulched in by Halloween so I can have a party. I have some great ideas for the yard and can't wait to get my money situation settled down so I can get to work.

This morning, the domestic goddess smiled at me and inspired me to scrub my house from top to bottom. Tonight, my dishes are done, my laundry is done (with the exception of Baby Girl's bedding and some towels), the floors are VERY clean, the furniture is polished and Baby Girl's room is clean. I put down her little foam puzzle pieces down on her floor tonight, so she can have something other than those hard wood floors to sit on when she plays in her room. Tonight, the house feels so happy and peaceful. Isn't it funny how being squeaky clean can do that? Oh, don't get me wrong, I won't go to bed until the house is straight, but it's been a while since I really got down into the door jams and pulled out the shop vac and moved furniture to clean. Just gives me a happy kind of tired feeling. Like I actually accomplished something today. *sigh*

I can barely keep my eyes open tonight. I guess that makes sense, since it's 11:30pm, huh?

Well, I guess I'll go to bed now. Night, y'all.. I noticed that last night's entry received comments. Thanks! Most kind! Keep 'em comin'! *wink* No, seriously - I'm glad you stopped by. Come back anytime.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Shamless Plug

I have officially decided to be a Harry Potter fan. As in collecting and all. I know, horrendous. I'm pushing 30 and should have far more important things to do than while away the hours on House Pride. But it's just so dang fun!

Ok, if you are not familiar with House Pride - I stumbled across it one night while I was looking for a place to talk about the new Harry Potter book, Half Blood Prince. I had just finished it and was DYING to talk to ANYBODY about it. That was three weeks ago. Now, I'm just as nuts about it as I am chocolate and coffee. I look at it first thing in the morning and it's the last thing I look at before I turn the computer off at night.

The thing I like MOST about it is the way it is moderated. They are ruthless about rule-breaking and that just makes me giddy. They make no secret that people will be squibbed and then do it! It's just hilarious. You have to take this LONG sorting quiz and they want an auto-biography from you. Seriously. But, they sorted me unanimously into Gryffindor so I'm a happy little clam.

I've been posting and posting. Everytime I log on I see something new and it's GREAT! My mother is really starting to tease me about how much time I'm spending on the boards. How everything right now reminds me of something Harry Potter.. *laugh* Yes, I know - I'm an idiot. What can I say??

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Avoiding Seinfeld Moments

You know that moment when that idiot with the crazy hair falls into Jerry's front door? That's what I feel like my life is like; a series of awkward entrances.

I'm back to fretting about money. Not so much that I know I don't have any (what's new about that?) but just wondering how I can fix the problem so that it stops happening. There for a while, I wasn't worrying about money and I was making LESS than I'm making now. A LOT LESS. Go figure.

My ex is moving back to New Jersey. I would dance, but that would just seem mean. That woudn't be my intention, but I can almost feel his chaos from three hours away. It would be nice to know that my little girl doesn't have to go and be subjected to his mania every other weekend.

My little girl started preschool today. She wore her little uniform and looked SO cute! It's a half day program at a private school in the next town over from where we live. It's NOT daycare. They have curriculum and structured learning time under degreed teachers.

Well, I'm pretty tired so I'm going to check the House-Pride website http://www.house-pride.net one more time and then go to bed.

Go Gryffindors!