Finding her way through the tangle

Have I mentioned Munchkin is one of the brightest children I've ever encountered? She loves bigger than most too. This can make for an explosive combination.

Last week, I was told I isolate myself.  I have a theory about that and it comes from watching Munchkin try and find her way through the tangle of social relationships.

Munchkin often finds herself on the wrong side of a little disagreement between girls. All girls do this. But what few know, is that Munchkin, even when she instigated it, takes it very hard that she cannot figure out how to be with the "in" crowd.

I remember that sense of hurt and bewilderment that I'd somehow said something wrong - again.  Even if I imitated behaviors I'd observed, when it came out of my mouth, it came across as bossy or mean-spirited.

As smart as I was, I often found myself alone because of this inability to translate the social behaviors of my classmates into my own personality.  Books became my friends. I couldn't understand how to communicate my longing for friendship and so I tucked it away until I got older and could surround myself with like-minded people who understood my intentions, even when I didn't always say it right.

In some ways, it was a very lonely childhood. I am thankful God gave me a brother with whom I could truly be friends.  I also had a few very close friends on whom I could truly rely.

Since Munchkin is already so much older than her sister, I trust God will bring her a friend; a sister of the heart.

I am still a solitary creature. Some of those childhood lessons left pretty painful scars that leave me cautious around those I don't know.  I like to feel out the temperature of a room before I enter it. I try to avoid those who sow dissent and division.  I despise duplicity. And while I have become very good at communication, my black and white perspective on character can still make me hesitant to reach out when I've watched them practice gossip, slander, selfishness, and all other manner of hatefulness. 

People still confuse me.  I hope she will do as a child what took me a lot longer to achieve: the ability to overlook the failings of the human heart; especially her own, in order to make friends.